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How To Break The Cheating Cycle

 

Once a cheater, always a cheater? Maybe. A recent survey of 484 unmarried 18- to 34-year-olds, who say they cheated in one relationship are three-and-a-half times more likely to be unfaithful again. And, it isn’t just a nasty cycle for the bad guy in the relationship. Odds are if you were cheated on in one relationship, you’ll probably be betrayed again in the next unless you follow these six ways of breaking the victim trend.

 

1. Learning to be "streetwise" in love is a skill you develop. - Some people are a little too trusting and serial cheaters will pick up on that and target you. Try to keep your eyes open and learn how to recognize someone who has tendencies towards infidelity, says family counselor Dr. Laurie Moore.

 

2. Look for clues before you fall in love. – Moore suggests taking a long hard look at someone before you become invested in a committed relationship with them. "You're in a dreamy-eyed stage that makes it easier to ignore or miss important clues and signs," Moore says.

 

3. Examine their world view and value system. - Ask your potential partner "about his past relationships, why they ended, and what he learned from them." Does he seem to value loyalty and honesty? Did his last relationship end because of his indiscretions?

 

4. Beware of self-proclaimed victims. - Always playing the victim? Big red flag! Moore suggests taking notice if the guy you're interested in is always talking about problems as someone else's fault. Does he rarely admit to making mistakes? He should be someone who takes responsibility for mistakes, learns from them, and is able to evolve over time.

 

5. Notice if they’re secretive or avoidant in other areas of their life. - "People who cheat tend to hide other things in a relationship," Moore says. "They may avoid eye contact at times or act secretive in other ways." If you feel cut off from his life it’s because you are.

 

6. Just because you cheat once doesn't necessarily mean you're a serial cheater. - You shouldn't write off someone who admits to one act of infidelity. What matters is that he accepts responsibility for that past mistake, feels tremendous remorse for it, and intends never to do it again. People can grow up, learn, and move on.

 

(Source: The Stir)

 

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