Anything With Garlic: I have no self-awareness or foresight … or I don’t like you.


Tacos: I’m impulsive and a short-term thinker. Tacos are always delicious, but I forgot that I would eventually get bloated and gassy, which is not attractive.

Burger And Fries: IDGAF what you think. I want something delicious because I’m hungry. It’s not glamorous and you may judge me for it, so go ahead.

Buffalo Wings: I’m adventurous and not afraid of getting down and dirty.

Pasta: I’m a romantic. There’s something seductive about a savory plate of pasta, as long as sauce isn’t dripping all over the place. Lady and Tramp thought so, too.

Steak: I’m dominant and powerful. Anybody who wants to slice into a big filet with a steak knife says “I’m in control”.

Oysters: I’m DTF. Plain and simple.

Chicken: I play it safe. Chicken is easy to eat, doesn’t smell or leave you feeling too full, but you may be perceived as boring.

Pizza: I’m down-to-earth. I’m not too uppity, but I also might not be very adventurous.

Meatloaf: I’m not here to impress you. There’s nothing impressive or sexy about meatloaf, therefore there’s nothing impressive or sexy about this date.

Chicken Vindaloo: I am not interested in you, because I don’t care that I’ll spend the night on the toilet instead of on top of you.

Quesadilla: I’m fun, easy going and playful.

Surf And Turf: I’m fancy, sort of materialistic and don’t care about money, because you’re paying …

Salmon: I like you and consider your feelings. I chose a lean piece of fish that’s not too smelly or hearty, tastes good and is classy.

Chicken Fingers: I am a child trapped in an adult’s body and am unaware that you’re probably judging me.