Matt "Aristotle" Burns traveled to Finland to defend his Air guitar title this weekend and epically smashed a cover of "I Will Survive" in front of 8,000 air guitar fans.
Competitive air guitar is a mixture of dance and faking playing a guitar to a song. Burns is a veteran of the "sport" with 2 U.S. Championships, 3 second place World finishes, and just picked up his second consecutive World Championship title. Even with all the accolades he sadly still hasn't gotten laid. When the announcer asked him about losing his virginity, he replied, "Technically....no".
Burns is a 27-year-old waiter from Staten Island. he told NY Post, “I got pretty emotional. It didn’t fully sink in until I got back to my hotel room and I bawled my eyes out."
Maybe he can use come of the prize money to buy a hooker, or maybe start with a drink at the bar for some chic who seems into his air guitar. We can't have a 2-time champion going around with a loaded weapon. GoFundMe anyone?!