Even the happiest couples fight sometimes. And when you’re passionate about each other, the fighting can get intense. Turns out, the part of your brain that fuels your anger is the same part that keeps you hot for your sweetie. So keep a cool head and keep the peace with these tips for a civil disagreement.
Look ahead - Think about how you’d describe this argument a year from now. You probably won’t remember much about it, so use this trick to help you let go and forgive faster. Research shows it helps give you perspective and puts the focus on resolving the issue.
Say these three words: I feel you - Research from the University of California, Berkeley found couples who felt their partners “got” their side of an argument were more likely to walk away happy than those who felt misunderstood.
Own it - "During arguments, your adrenaline is pumping and you're focused on winning the fight, not on finding a solution that works for both of you," says Logan Levkoff, relationship expert and certified sexuality educator at the University of Michigan. She advises taking a breath and asking yourself, “What could I be doing better right now.” If you’re being sarcastic, checking out, or expecting your partner to read your mind, that makes it harder, but owning your part of the disagreement makes it easier to move on.
Reach out - Any contact with your S.O. can boost your brain’s production of oxytocin, the love hormone, which can cut your production of cortisol, the stress hormone. So touching his hand can help you feel more calm and compassionate toward your beloved, and that can help end the fight sooner.