Moron Monday: Police Catch Erratic Driver..."Vaseline" Handed In A Thong

Garfield County Sheriff's Mug Shot

A Garfield County Sheriff's Office deputy in Oklahoma had a pretty awkward encounter with a recent driver, when he walked up to the car and he was covered in vaseline and wearing a thong.

The Smoking Gun reports, John Wayne Kellerman, 54, was driving erratically and was pulled over. Deputy Darryl Beebe approached the driver and noticed he was covered in vaseline, has a thong covering his man-hood, and a porno mag open on his seat. He was acting “extremely nervous in a manner that his hands were shaking and his voice was trembling,” Beebe wrote in his police report.


Kellerman also had a mostly empty bottle of vaseline next to him. He admitted he was pleasuring himself while driving and was even nice enough to offer "a rag to wipe the Vaseline off of the ID card". Deputy Beebe of course refused the rag, noticing it was also the rag he wiped other....umm... fluids on.

Kellerman was booked on speeding and driving with a revoked license and freed on $1000 bond.



Otis was born and raised in a small town in Morton, IL between two pumpkin patches. It’s the Pumpkin Capitol of the World, so there’s that. He considers Charlotte, NC his hometown, after spending 10 years there doing radio and meeting his wife... Read more


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