There are a lot of problems in the world right now but as far as Ander Christensen of Lincoln, Nebraska is concerned, nothing is more important than the problem of boneless chicken wings. Mr. Christensen stood proudly at the city council meeting to draw attention to the absurdity of boneless chicken wing saying children are being indoctrinated to believe these fowl concoctions are something more than just chicken tenders.
He told the city council: "Lincoln has the opportunity to be a social leader in this country. We have been casually ignoring a problem that has gotten so out of control that our children are throwing around names and words, without understanding their true meaning, and treating things as though they're normal." He continued, "I propose that we as a city remove the name boneless wings from our menus and from our hearts."
Here are some of the reasons he pointed out. Number one: nothing about boneless chicken wings actually comes from the wing of a chicken. We would be disgusted if a butcher was mislabeling their cuts of meats, but then we go around pretending as though the breast of a chicken is its wing? Number two: boneless chicken wings are just chicken tenders, which are already boneless. I don't go to order boneless tacos. I don't go and order boneless club sandwiches. I don't ask for boneless auto repair. It's just what's expected. Number three: we need to raise our children better. Our children are being raised to be afraid of having bones attached to their meat. That's where meat comes from, it grows on bones. We need to teach them that the wing of a chicken is from a chicken, and it's delicious."
One of the council members introduces the man as his son, after his rant. So it seems, this may have all just been a big joke. Too funny! What does he take on next? Hot dogs? Is that even meat?
Just to be completely transparent... I am one of those childish adults who loves boneless wings! I refuse to call them chicken fingers when I order them. (Even though that's basically what they are)